NO NO NO Thrice NO

Just how do you say NO and not feel guilty? How do you just say NO?
In many businesses saying NO is an issue. Some people believe if they say NO it will go against them in a performance review. Others don't want to be seen or perceived as a someone who is not pulling their weight. NO is such a simple word yet the effects of saying it can be quite negative and in some cases career threatening.

My observations of the consequences of not saying NO are;
1. People take on more work than they can do
2. The work they do is not done to an acceptable level
3. Stress elevates significantly
4. Worry sets in about work quality and job delivery
5. Pressure builds and eventually something has to give - usually health

Superman and Wonder Woman are cartoon characters - we are human and that means saying NO when it is required.

Know you bottom line - set your 'GO - NO GO' parameters around what you will do and wont do. It is better to say NO and avoid becoming over committed than saying YES and becoming a screaming mess.

The key to saying NO is to say it accompanied by a very brief uncomplicated explanation, e.g) No I wont be able to do that as I am on a dead line already with three other jobs. No further explanation is need. Or, NO I am unable to assist you at this time as I am fully committed for the next three weeks. Or, NO I don't wish to contribute to your charity as I have selected my charities for this year and have a commitment to them.

The key to not feeling guilty is a simple one - 'You need to value yourself and your time and your current commitments'. Let me be quite clear, you are allowed to value your time and your own needs. The worst possible thing that can happen is the person needing you will find some one else to help or some other way of dealing with things, or they will figure out they need to get their own act together and smarten up (maybe you should tell them that), or they will get around to the job when they can.

It is worth defining emergency at the point because this word is used to often when people need you. To me, emergency is " will someone get physically hurt, maimed or killed, or, does is it involve my family" - if the answer is no - then it is not an emergency. When was the last time you did emergency accounts or made an emergency car sale or did an emergency golf lesson. If it is not an emergency Just say NO , value up your own activities and if possible advise the individual where they might go to get assistance and for goodness sake don't feel guilty, you have not committed a crime by saying NO.